I am now on day 6 and have arrived in the beautiful rural town of Los Arcos. I have not blogged for a few days for 2 reasons... 1 being very tired in the evenings and 2 I have been struggling a bit with settling down to my camino.
I think really until yesterday I thought I may not be able to do it. I have struggled since teenage years with fear and anxiety. Most people who know me would not realise that, So doing this by myself this year was real important to me. The boys are grown up and I am very proud of who they have become. Ray and I did well and I can say that without a flicker of thought. Yet I always doubt my self,I have been walking with a beautiful girl called Jess who showed me that quote on her camera phone on Sunday. I have been thinking about it a lot the last few days. Today I realised I always had courage !!! I have just been denying it for over 30 years :-(
Funny isn't it that I have to walk in 32 degrees of heat over mountains with blistered feet to figure that out.
I have also learned some things I needed to learn from a snake.
I have enjoyed walking today more than any walk I have ever done, it is nice to walk in freedom and really enjoy the beauty around you. The views are amazing here. Along with Jess Pip and Snake ( other people come and go) we start around 5am, to catch sunrise, beat the heat of the day an also get accommodation. It is still very busy here and can be hard to get a bed. I get lots of rest in the evening and listen to music that James sent me :-) That man has his mothers great taste in music. A chat with the boys at home then time for dinner and early bed. Such is the life of a pilgrim and tomorrow I will do it all over again.
Ahhhh ... !!!
ReplyDeleteJess, Pip, and Snake ! I wondered who you might connect to ...
As for courage ... I dare say that yes, you have always had it, and no, you have never denied it. Real courage comes from facing life right here, right now, with whatever you have to work with. Real courage springs from action despite the fear, despite the conditions, despite the negative consequences. REAL COURAGE "HAPPENS" without you even knowing it.
Now you recognize it.
Yes, my dear, you ARE a hero. You always have been. Now you know.
Now ... you ... KNOW.
I will be really interested in knowing how you embrace yourself as a hero. I suspect you will deny it (good luck with that !) and how your life changes as you give witness to the transformation. You have so, so much to share, Doll. Perhaps the next few weeks will give you some insight as to how to do that !
Carry on, my dear. The best is yet to come.
Much love -
~ A
Ah now she begins to see herself :) Amen! Love to you on 'your'' Way warrior woman xxxx
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